vet appt update

carver gazing up at beloved dr. w

well, we just arrived back home after our visit with dr. w. what a huge relief this appointment has brought us. Dr. w said that carver looked good, that there were no worrisome signs that would suggest that something serious was going on, and would warrant further testing. He said the remaining front shoulder was just big from built up muscle. He was impressed with carver's walking ability, and how far and long carver could walk for. he said to let him rest when he wants to rest, and just keep an eye on his progress, along with his appetite, digestion, and attitude. we did do some blood work, which we will hear the results of tomorrow. but if the blood work gets the green light, we are ready to just keep on living our cheery day to day lives, learning more and more to let go of expectation and worry, and to lean into the present, letting carver be who he is and letting him need what he needs. today carver took a rest in someone's side yard on halifax street. I felt a little silly standing there, but o.k. I am going to add the third dose of tramadol to carver's regime and see if that seems helpful. beware blog readers, I am going to have to resume noting boring details of med times and his progress.

something I realized through out this whole roller coaster ride of a weekend is that is is important to think ahead to the end, while things are steady. I have to admit that I spent a lot of time these past few days thinking about how I would be able to make the decision to help end carver's life, what that would be like, what would I have to need to know, how would I know it was time? I asked my bonecancerdog friends who had lost their dogs how they made their decisions, and received an amazing outpouring of stories that were so helpful and full of courage and compassion. dr. m, who gave us carver's first diagnosis, said to make a list of all the things carver loves to do, and to keep it in mind as his cancer progresses. I think it is time to start making that list.