Sunday, June 29, 2008

california

so I am thinking about going to California for four days in a couple of weeks to visit my sister and my new nephew whom I have not met yet-I had a trip planned in january, but I cancelled it when carver got diagnosed. the ticket is going to expire soon, and I really want to go, but am totally conflicted because of carver. e will stay home to take care of him. but I am so nervous that he will down slide because I am away. is this totally irrational? I figured it would be better to go soon, since carver has been doing so well lately, then to wait and be more uncertain. its the howling in the morning that gets me, he does not even like me going to work. and he is so used to me being home all the time-I had a hard time just going to dinner the other night. but I know it is important to keep on living in this time, and I so want to meet eli. It has been hard to live with so much uncertainty, but i think it is time.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi, L, jsk - I am really touched by your dog and the kindness you are offering him (and all sentient beings, your mothers from beginingless time). Sounds as if you've got a ripe case of attachment disorder, which is trained out by not making a big deal of your coming and going, which can take a while. If you go, your 'e' person should be prep. to cope with chewing or "letting loose."

louise said...

thanks jim! I have been working on leaving with out a big good bye-I can see my role in this whole thing!!

good news is that it looks like my big sis is coming HERE, so I can put off going away for another month.

with appreciation

Anonymous said...

We may have the thunder, but CA is on fire! Much better to stay here. One gets use to soggy & muggy. My "big, tough" dog, Granite, turns into a mass of blubbering jelly at the hint of a thunderstorm. Her idiot sibling, Kobe, just follows her around pathetically. And then they both follow us around.